FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Like, all the time.
- ABOUT CLOUDEATER
- Who are you?
- What do you want?
- What is your sustainability policy?
- Who makes your stuff?
- What do you know about fashion?
- Who needs pockets?
- What's in your pockets?
- Who or what is a cloud eater?
- What are you listening to at the moment?
- OUR PRODUCTS
- Is it vegan?
- How do you make your black rabbits so shadowy and mysterious?
- Which size should I buy?
- Would my friend like one for their birthday?
- I don't present as female. Can I still wear your stuff?
- OK if I order a skirt in every size and send 3 back?
- Will it stand up to my daring lifestyle?
- My size is too fabulous to fit in your size range. Will you make one up especially for me?
- I have some fabric floating around my flat that would look fit as a cloud skirt. Can you make me one?
- I only wear clothing that was manufactured on the first night of the new moon to a soundtrack of live kazoos. Would you?
- How do I clean it?
- If my skirt starts to unravel one night and in the morning there is just a puddle of threads where once there was a skirt, will you replace it?
- SHIPPING & RETURNS
- When will my stuff arrive?
- I'm ordering from outside the UK. Will I have to pay import duties?
- How can I return an item?
- Do you burn your returns?
- Do you eat your returns?
1. ABOUT CLOUDEATER
Like many other small businesses, sustainability is baked into our processes due to the nature of being a small business: maintaining low stock inventories, stretching our materials as far as possible, and making everything ourselves instead of sending materials on world tours to far flung factories just makes sense for a small business.
The quest for harmless fashion is fraught with moral conundrums and any approach to sustainability must favour certain interests over others. We prioritise making choices that benefit our local community: buying our materials from local small businesses; directing our marketing budget towards people, businesses and organisations that we want to see thrive; and avoiding giving money to industry giants. We ship items out in plastic-free biodegradable mailers made from plant starch.
Our products are built to last (see aftecare) and to survive your next wardrobe cull. We spend months rigorously testing and refining our products to come up with thoughtful designs that balance style with wearability and durability.
Currently, everything is made in short production runs by me - founder, designer, stitch bitch, and FAQs writer Jasmine Pender.
I've been making costumes for my cello, voice and video art project Rotten Bliss for years. You'd be amazed how hard it is to find a gorgeous dress that you can play cello in with minimal likelihood of wardrobe malfunctions. I've never been willing to compromise on wearability so in the end I decided to stop moaning about it and start making my own damn clothes.
I know that wearing certain colour combinations can transform your mood and that garments can be catalysts for change. Clothing can telegraph interests, eccentricities, tribal associations, and musical taste. Clothes can give you permission to experiment with different aspects of yourself. And most importantly, your clothes shouldn't restrict what you can do or otherwise get in your way.
Zoom 4hn; Moleskine pocket journal; smartphone; emergency parma violets; Sure IEMs.
2. OUR PRODUCTS
Yes. We don't use wool, silk, leather, or any other animal bits.
I use an alchemical kitchen chemistry process known as ebonisation. I wrote about the stinky fascinating process HERE.
Check out our sizing chart for fitting advice. Custom sizes are also available (see Customisations section below).
Yes. And if anyone tells you otherwise, kindly point them out to me.
Please. Don't. Do. This. I'm a small operation and frankly returns are a bit of an arse ache. I would rather watch you clown around with a tape measure on skype to QA your sizing estimate than process your return. Having said that, of course you're welcome to send stuff back if it doesn't fit. Just please be kind.
Probably. See Aftercare.
2. I have some fabric floating around my flat that would look fit as a cloud skirt. Can you make me one?
3. I only wear clothing that was manufactured on the first night of the new moon to a soundtrack of live kazoos. Would you...?
2. If my skirt started to unravel one night and by morning there was just a puddle of threads where once there was a skirt, would you replace it?
5. SHIPPING & RETURNS
Please see our shipping and returns page for prices and delivery times. Please note that due to the power duo of COVID-19 and Brexit, shipping times may vary due to carrier service issues. If your desire is urgent then let us know and we'll try to accommodate you.
All items and shipping prices for delivery to countries outside the UK are not inclusive of any customs or import duties and may be subject to taxes, customs duties and fees levied by the destination country. The recipient of the delivery is responsible for all Import Fees.
Most items can be returned as long as they are in resalable condition. Please refer to our shipping and returns page for full details and policy exclusions (e.g. plague masks & customised garments).
That's outrageous. Who do you think we are, ASOS?
If you've read this far then you'll probably want to follow us on Facebook and Instagram (@cloudeaterlndn) and subscribe to our mailing list (link in footer) for new products, competitions, and special offers.
If there's anything else you'd like to know, please contact us via your preferred channel. If we're particularly amused or impressed we'll probably send you something.